


One More Moment

by twocandles



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Coda, Episode: s03e03 His Last Vow, Fix-It, M/M, POV Second Person, POV Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Post-Episode: s03e03 His Last Vow, The Tarmac Scene (Sherlock)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:27:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28431654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twocandles/pseuds/twocandles
Summary: Sherlock returns to John after their goodbye on the tarmac.
Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson
Comments: 10
Kudos: 28





	One More Moment

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this the summer after season 3 but abandoned it because I thought it wasn't good enough. Turns out, years later I don't care and think "eh, why not give it another try". ;) So here's another fic fresh out of tarmac hell.

  
[[x]](https://twocandles.tumblr.com/post/153270998588/tarmac-hell-insp)

  


You hold his hand and it feels like forever. Two seconds of forever. For a brief moment you want to take his pulse but there’s no time now. The evidence of his blood pumping through his veins, his warm touch, his laughter, his entire existence is ingrained in your heart and mind and it’ll have to do. It’ll have to get you through what’s about to come next.

John looks as torn apart as you feel but there’s no use in putting off the inevitable. He will live, as safely as he allows it, and that’s all that matters. In a last wish you asked your brother to keep an eye on him, and an even closer one on Mary. But whatever happens between them is out of your influence now.

You shake his hand one last time and let go.

You can’t turn back now. Several steps, three stairs and you board the plane. However, it doesn’t stop you from keeping your eyes fixed on the tarmac, the window your only connection to the world that you’re leaving. You catch a final glimpse and keep your eyes fixed on him until he’s getting smaller and more distant and farther away from you. 

You knew the consequences of your doing before you ever pulled the trigger but bottling up your emotions was a losing battle even in the best of scenarios. You were already cracking the moment you made your decision and it only went downhill from there. This goodbye to John was one of the hardest and most painful moments you have ever had to live through and the reality of your heartbreak hits you hard now.

Its force is powerful and all-encompassing and you aren’t fighting the tears that are welling up now. Not anymore. You let them wash over you and it helps even out the pain, if only a little. They dry up far too soon but your inner turmoil remains.

“For a genius you can be remarkably thick” rings in your head and John was right: Love is one of your biggest blind spots. The last time you left him you weren’t even consciously aware of what you were losing. You saw all the clues that John was displaying for years but you didn’t piece them together for what they were. And neither did you fully realise the extent to which John had infiltrated your heart. Not until it was already too late. He unlocked yours, you unlocked his and now you were both drowning in waters too deep to pull yourself out of on your own.

The universe is telling a joke and it's on you.

But enough, you think, and kick yourself out of your head, because the drivel is blinding and pointless, you know it won't do to dwell on the unobtainable when it's so far out of reach. There is nothing you can do now but accept it for what it is.

The phone call is a welcome distraction.

But when you utter Mycroft’s name your voice is raw from your tears and you instantly hope the line filters it out. Mycroft may know but he doesn’t need any more ammunition to file away for future reference.

He tells you that you’re needed and you have to keep yourself from rolling your eyes and dropping your jaw at the same time. It is so unlike him to call you back after a mission has been set, especially under your current circumstances, but it is also like him to do so when there are higher stakes at work. However, to have this happen within minutes of your departure must be anything but a giant coincidence. And coincidence is one thing you definitely don't believe in.

“I’ll brief you on the ground,” he replies to your still unasked questions and leaves you to wonder what the heck is going on.

The plane has already turned midway through your talk and as you’re heading back you have a million ideas and none at all; without concrete information there’s no use in theorising and solving problems. Better save your energy for later.

But your pulse is heightened now and you crave stimulation and your mind settles on the inevitable, the obvious: John.

You’re going to see him again.

You don’t believe in miracles either but if you didn’t know better this would probably qualify as one. Is this your ever after now, after all? You can’t stop the thought from forming and flinch instantly. You know what it says about you and it won’t do to let yourself be ruled by sentiment.  But it’s your weakness and you wonder if you’ll ever find a middle ground. Neither shutting yourself off nor being trapped in its grip has worked out in your favour so far.

Another distraction. A video screen is flickering with nothing but static and if you catch a glimpse of a silhouette it’s too unclear to decipher. More insufficient data you can’t work with. Must be a local interference blocking the signal. A signal the plane picked up because you’re descending and close enough to the airfield to see the people you left behind there a mere eight minutes ago. If your stomach does a somersault when the plane touches ground  you’re not fighting the implications anymore. This is really happening.

You slip on the familiar weight of your coat and add your scarf, leave off the gloves. Time now for this next chapter, the jury still out whether it will be better or worse than the one you are just leaving behind.

The tarmac beneath your feet is grounding and the cool London air fills your lungs, a reminder of home, even though for all you know you’re only here on borrowed time. You take a deep breath and fresh oxygen mingles with anticipation, flooding your veins down to your core. It’s nearly exhilarating: _Here_ you are, metres away from your old life. 

John is already moving in your direction, Mycroft following at a slower pace, leaving Mary farther behind. You walk towards them and cast your brother a glance, your eyes quickly indicating John. He does you the favour and stays back. You’ll grant him the ammunition this once as long as you are allowed a quiet moment alone with John first.

Five more steps and your heart races, your pulse is elevated and a nervous flutter takes hold of you. When you meet he stares at you with wide eyes, his expression an amalgamation of wonder and relief and disbelief. It’s a mirror of your own and your eyes turn soft at the sight of him.

Your body is on auto-pilot now and before you know it you take a step forward. You’re reacting on an impulse and it’s like coming full-circle, doing what you didn’t dare before because you tried not to break both your hearts to pieces. You close the distance and delight a little in the fact that he is drawn to you at the same time. 

Your bodies meet and wrap around each other and you’re closer than you’ve been in a long time. Your arms cross behind his back and hold him tight as he brings his own arms to a hold on your back, clinging tight to your shoulders.

He’s your anchor and your lifeboat and his strength and warmth encompass you completely. You’re melting into the embrace and allow yourself to savour the moment, let it sink in and store it in your mind palace. 

Six seconds of bliss no one will ever take from you.

Six seconds to sustain you in darker times.

Six seconds until you hear him say it.

Six seconds until the world comes tumbling down again.

“Sherlock… Moriarty might be back.”

He mutters the words into your hair and then slowly withdraws. You hold him at arm’s length now and can’t stop the panic and bewilderment from being written all over your face. John’s eyes are wary and unsure. “How can he...” he says and you think at the same time.

Mycroft has approached now and is quick to the point. “We need to go, now.” He stares at you, leaving no room for discussion. Which also means that you're supposed to leave  _without_ John. Another panic tries to take a hold of you, you can't lose him again now that you've gotten your second chance. It must show on your face because John gently grabs your arm and squeezes it, grounding you again. “I'll see you around,” he says hopefully, a small smile on his lips. “Go and be Sherlock Holmes,” he leaves you an out, one that you don't want anymore but have to take at the moment. You nod and offer him a smile in return.

You will solve whatever this latest mess is, and then you will solve the riddle that is John and the riddle that is your own heart.

It is a start.

  


**Author's Note:**

> And a Happy New Year!


End file.
